I notice every time i met up with my old friends and they tell me about man they are dating the conversation starts with either what he drives or where he stays.Well lets not take it far take me for instance i always mention even info i was not asked.Lol.just to prove am not dating a looser or in Kasi slang umahlalela.The honest truth if you have not money and you are a guy you will never see woman liking you for you.That type of love died along with Romeo and Juliet.Lol.
I think its fair since woman of today are working woman.I mean really imagine having a guy asking you for airtime or money to buy briefs or socks.Well no woman wants that type of man its 2011.Anyway you buy him airtime he will go call another woman or get compliments in the same briefs you bought him by a mistress.
There is nothing annoying and frustrating that dating a lazy guy who does not hustle.No direction in life but just sees the sun coming up and going down.Woman will never lower their standards that is the honest truth brothers and do not call her a Gold digger if you have no Gold to be dug.If she is dating you and you have no money rest assured that she has a sidekick on the side with money.The guy that takes her out,take her for a long drive in a BMW,buy her flowers and many things that a woman needs.
I would also like to warn my sisters of the man that live on bank money.Credit cards,renting instead of owning,buying a car worth more than his property.You need a man who is intelligent about his money and lifestyle so be careful he must not be stingy.
A man having money shows potential of being a best candidate for husband as he must pay lobola if he has no job how do you expect him to pay lobola.Nowadays its not only woman who are judged if they are marriage material men too.So if you are not hustler and you ain't got no money,you are no husband material.Sorry!Men taking you to KFC or McDonald's for dinner is a Big No!No!I mean you on your own can afford KFC why can he not top that?
Brothers you need to have money to have woman its the harsh reality because no woman wants a Broke struggling man unless he struggling after you met him.Apart from that it shows the power to be a provide as nature intended.
Just as much men have high expectation about the woman they want,We woman expect a brother to have money and provide.Actually even in the Bible men are suppose to provide.So to all those broke men."Get a Job"! as in yesterday or you will never touch a woman.Lol.
You are right in most respects. Men are meant to provide and be heads of their households. It's true.
ReplyDeleteNow with bad economic situation we are in, some men have found themselves in a difficult position of not being able to provide as they would like. That is why they hustle. But they are still men. They have those feelings: getting attracted to females. It's up to women to use whatever method they want to sieve who the suitable guy is. They could opt to use money (how much he is making), what car he drives, does he own a house etc. I think, women should just look for genuine love and leave the rest. Together they would amass whatever wealth they want. Thank you. P.S. Got your link from Sowetan blog about the raped woman. Go gal!!
gal u are so rite,my 2011 resolution was to date no broke a*** nigger and thats wat im doing,if u dont have money im not dating you,not that im a gold digger but i want someone who will take care of himself financially(who wontaskmoney 4rom me pls) and spoil me here and then(not always though-im working nd earning enaf for myself) keep up the good work got the link 4rom Sowetan blog *viva women viva*
ReplyDeletethis is so true gals! i dated this guy for 7 months who did nothing but leech money and things from me..and guess what? i dumped him like last nights trash! i mean im no gold digger but i do expect to be provided for by my man but firstly a man must take care of himself otherwise how is he going to take care of me? i mean this guy,who is a pastor, would manipulate ma into doing things for me claiming ''anginamali mos uyazi''not even once did he take me out,buy me little things or help me with anything but he expected me to buy his clothes,buy him toiletries,use my phones airtime to make calls, eat everyday (sometimes breakfast.lunch AND supper)and pay for his church stuff...shoo what a fool in love i was!!!on top of getting no financial support i got no emotional or spiritual support from him either... like my sister above says..from now on i aint dating no broke nigga no mo!!!
ReplyDelete@Bigtime i agree with you my brother but am sorry i will never date a guy who ask me for money.My father never asked my mother for money and he has taught me the same thing.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous yes gal go get yourself a hustler.I mean we not looking for a brothers who are millioners but a brother gotta have vision and goals be a go getter.
@2nd Anonymous thats how we learn sugar every woman has met that lazy bum who is just after money.Actaully its a disgrace for a man to not be able to take care of his woman in any kind of way from emotional to finance.
Guys, its like this: If we fail to provide for her, she will fancy the greener pastures over the fence. It also creates insecurities in her. So Vaya uyophanda!
ReplyDeleteMara gran-gran, @ times the woman dont see that even lomjita on the other side of the fence started without a job. Have a little faith in his vision, where he's going. See the whole picture where ur man is going by that i mean, u find the man in a position where he may nt provide as he would like to due to circumstance @ home.. e.g a brother is helping his parents to pay for his young sister/brother university tuition etc. Basically like lomjita uBigtimes is saying.
Sometimes due to my pride, i cant tell my woman saying: 'biscuit, eintlik this month its bad joe n my economy is sleg'. No, i prefer not to cause insecurities.
My point all in all is that when i dont buy that BMW or Audi now or take u out at the moment it so doesnt mean m broke. It only means that when i start taking u to that fancy restaurant it would be better we maintain that level. yabo!
I say gents have a vision, set ur goals and have faith in ur mission.
ukuphanda is in a man's genes but it differs to all men. For some it take 10 years n others 2 years.
Tell ur madam 'Have patience, sunshine, we'll get there its a matter of time!'
@Scruf i love the way you have put it.If a guy has goals and is ambitious woman do not have an issue,just like a woman who is not perfect but is potential wife she will learn one or two things in marriage.
ReplyDeleteAm so happy that we have brothers like you.Men like you must be duplicated by Gods way and be sent out there for good woman.
@ Destinylady88... Thanks for noticing, ur compliment goes also to all the brothers who hustling out there.
ReplyDeleteGents, the ladies are watching and taking notes.. keep hustling. :-D
Im a working lady and have a "mahlalela" for a boyfriend.Does that make him less of a man,a gold digger or should he not be with someone just because he aint working?I have to disagree with all of you on that.Gone are the days when women must expect to pampered always by their men...dont get me wrong it is nice to have someone spent on you but dont you think males also want to experience that too?My man aint working but damn i love his unemployed ass..you know why ladies?because he understands me,he makes me happy and he loves me for me not my money cos he never asks me for it.So Destiny i have to disagree with you on this one gal.Him not working doesnt make him any less of a man.
ReplyDeleteSibongile
@Scruf. Yes by nature, we men are hustlers. We are hunters and go-getters. When there are no jobs, we hustle from 1 piece job to the next untill something stable comes by. We do this to provide for our beloved ones.
ReplyDelete@Destinyland88. It would be nice to take note of the efforts guys are going thru to provide for their ladies. Our mums were not as demanding as ladies of our times. They want everything expensive: from a cellphone to a car to presents.
What happened to the romance of cheap little presents?
But you know what guys? There is one area that can make amends to all these "shortcomings". That's the bedroom. Make sure that in that area, you are on top of the game. Almost always, any woman would forgive her man for other things as long as he does his homework in the bedroom. Once she is happy there, you can take her to McDonald's or KFC without a fuss! U dont have to rob a bank to make her happy! Then follow-up with small presents which you can afford. The result will be an air tight relationship. Enjoy!
@Anonymous i hear you about your man.But i wish you can tell us more about him.Like when you met him was he working?How does he get by i mean small things like toiletry ect.
ReplyDeleteWe not saying woman must not stand by their man once they are unemployed but if he is making means to get up and hustle again there is no need for you to be worried.What we are talking about is umahlalela who sits at home and has time to play Playstation games and watch Soapie reruns.
I worry that at some point you will resent him for being able to provide for you certain things.Are telling me if he asked you to marry him you would agree?Knowing he has not lobola money or money for the wedding?No father wants to marry their daughter to a guy who is not working.
Am sorry love is good and should be the foundation of any relationship but Love don't pay the bills.
@ Sibongile-my sistah we are not saying that an unemployed man is any less of a man, we are just saying that modern men have lost that sense in them as heads of households which, in itself, means being a provider and protector. Instead the modern man just wants to sit at the corner the whole day while the women go out there so they can bring home the bacon.the roles have reversed.a man and a woman in a relationship are partners, its not fair that women carry the bulk load of paying the bills while them brothas just sit around,bo mashayaenyoka.disgusting!a man should at least try to hustle, make an effort like Bigtimes says. love wont pay the bills, love wont put food on the table,love wont pay school fees for the kids..i still say a broke man is a broken man...haaikhona!
ReplyDeleteWHEN I MET MY HUSBAND HE WAS WORKING AND WITH THE LITTLE THAT HE GOT WILL SHARE,HE LOST HIS JOB BUT I AM PROUDLY STICKING BY HIM,I AM NOT MATERIALISTIC BUT BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF LOVE.YES I DO EVERYTHING BUT I HAVE THE BEST MAN EVER,NEVER FUSES OVER MY MONEY,NEVER DEMANDS,WHEN HE HUSTLES GIVES ME EVERYTHING AND I WILL IF I DECIDE GIVE HIM A SHARE.I NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY MY WHOLE LIFE,HE MIGHT NOT BE MY PROVIDER BUT HE IS SUPPORTIVE AND LOOKS WELL AFTER MY HEART.LADIES LET A MAN SUPPORT YOU FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.MONEY WITHOUT HAPPINESS=ZERO
ReplyDeletewomen you are so unfair,its fine for you to lazy around the whole day even giving yourselves titles"executive house wives."if a man who is not working is "broken" or a loser what do you call yourselves.men cheat because you have turned them into banking machines,even telling your parents to price you high for lobola and when he beats the dust out of you,you forget that were bought just like a german car.we all have different preferences but never look down on anyone.I prefer a man who I will work my way up with than he who i'll find with a house and furniture and only move me with bags and expects to score anything*smiles*.a broke man=a broken man what about a loaded man=heartache.yes love will never pay bills but surely guarantees longer life,when you are happy,no stress,depressions,high bloods,heart attacks etc.
ReplyDelete@Destiny have you ever sat down and thought of blogging about woman who have working men but do not know a cent and at the end of the day you find yourself equivalent to the one who is dating an unemployed man.Both get zinch only willy.
Anonymous that is a great point.Let me work around it even though its going to be hard because i have grown up surronded by woman who are working woman.
ReplyDeleteIts amazing how the roles of each sex have changed and now woman have to step it up.
What many of you are talking about are men who were working and end up loosing their jobs while you are together you also mention that your man hussle and bring something home.
Your man have potential and they hussle we are talking about a brother who does not want to hussle.We talking about how the criteria for dating has changed and how Love is not accompanied with wealth.Its a fact i do not care how inlove you are once a man out of that relationship spoils you as a woman you will realize what Love with no money does.Especially as a 21century working woman.
Who wants to be with a man who can not buy his own toiletry?i mean really now.