Dear Woman from 1959.

Dear beautiful,brave,intelligent,caring,stylish and loving woman of 1959.

You do not not me but i know you.I know who you are and what you stood for.Your bravery and kindness lives in a number of us and the reason why i say a number of us is because some know you but choose to ignore you.I owe you my life and me being here could not be a bigger blessing combined with you.Knowing you makes me want to take over the world because you showed me its possible.You changed my future for the better.You gave me the key to open my out to my journey.

When i listen to your peers who are still with us on this earth i can not help but cry tears of sadness.The amount of bravery you went through and pain so that a woman like me can have a voice and a place in the world.You are truly an extraordinary woman.

You never left your duties unattended.Your husband had supper and clean clothes,your children were looked after,you dressed in fine clothes,you carried that baby on your back and went to claim what was rightfully ours as woman.
We bare the fruits of your bravery,your pain and you kindness in our success.As much as many of my sistas have let us down but i can assure you there is a number of woman who have not let you down.From the domestic  worker to the CEO woman.I wish more woman understood what you stood for and cherish it by being Great woman like you were.You never had to wear a short skirts to be noticed.You were never at a shebeen looking for attention but instead you were out there fighting for all.

Your saw our pain and just like mothers you went to intervene.

I wish all woman can be Great woman from the woman in the Rural area to the woman in the city.I wish they can understand being a woman is not just about the body,the beauty but how you pave your journey in this world.How you treat others and what you stand for.Stand for reality and be true to yourself.I wish many woman can be like you woman of 1959.If i can be half the woman you were i would know that i have made you proud.


I write this piece to Mam'Albertina Sisulu,Mam'Winnie Madikizela Mandela,Mrs Helen Suzman,The Late Mam' Bertha Gxowa and many more beautiful souls.

How many woman celebrate woman of the past?Do you know what they stood for?Do you know how did they live?
Just a day after woman's day i wonder if woman of the past are proud of what we woman of 2011 have become.

You have paved the road for us its time for us woman of 2011 to do the walk.
Siyabulela manqobokazana.

Dear Mistress aka Nyatsi.

Dear Mistress aka Nyatsi.

Am writing this letter woman to woman.I am not here to judge you but to tell you the truth and hope this will save you from being like a used toothbrush.

I have been told woman like you lack in Self love and confidence.Am told woman like you like to be challenged that you are better than the wife or the main woman.You are attracted to married men or man who have stable relationships?

I have been told that you do not mind sharing and at least you know where he is when he is not with you and that's OK in your books.

For how long will you be someones side dish to offload his fantasies?Does it not bother you that he choose to pay lobola for his wife and yet he uses you?Does it not bother you that he is using you and will never meet your family and do things right?Does it not bother you that you going to hang on to him but when he dies you will get nothing and you will not even attend his funeral?Does it not bother you that you have been dating for years but never spent a night at your place?Does it not bother you that its been years and has not left his wife?

For how long will you put up this Drama in your life?Don't you think you are worthy of a man of your own?Do you really think that God will bless you with your own man while you are busy with another woman's blessing?Remember this man and his wife declared their love in front of God and God blessed them,so you between them means you have no respect for God.

Do you really think if he cheated with you he will not cheat on you?Do you really think you have a chance of a relationship while the foundation is based on cheating?

At times i feel sorry for you because life has a funny way of working out and people like you always end up alone and sad at the end.

I hope you read my letter and do some introspection and decide is this what you really want in your life to be second best who will get nothing.Even a dog gets a bone once in a while.

Destinylady88

Cheating Can Break a Man.

Some of you are going to jump on me as am only looking at it from a man side.I know i know woman also cheat but will get there.

Cheating is at its peek at the time we living in.We all know its bad,wrong and hurtful yet we get people who still practise it.We all know that there is an epidemic of Aids and HIV but for some reason people think they are immune.

To be cheated on is the most hurtful thing and worst part is that no matter how much the partner that cheated pleads for help the hurt party will never recover that's a fact.

Men are the most cheaters that is a proven fact judging by how many woman are bitter and angry.Out of 10 woman 8 of them have been cheated on by their husband or boyfriend whether they know it or not.It seems man use cheating as a disability crying out when they are caught with excuses such as"i could not help it","she seduced me","You were not doing the **** style with me in bed"All these excuse are not valid and woman can easily use them too.

Society is such a hypocrite.When a man cheats he is crowned a man amongst men but when he is dying of HIV/Aids the same society laughs at him.

Cheating can break a man.Its can leave you with nothing read Proverbs Chapter 5 from verse 1.You can be a wealth man  with a wife or girlfriend and cheat with anything that walks make babies all over but in due time those woman you were cheating with outside will come into your life demanding money to raise the kids you have outside.You will find these woman making trouble in your life up to a point your wife will leave you.Woman who are willing to cheat with you are evil as when they are scorned and relationship does not go their way they will go out of their way to destroy you.

Look at some famous wealthy men who have be broken by cheating.

1.Arnold Schwarzenegger.he has to loose half of his wealth to his soon to be ex wife.The mistress is also queuing for her child.People will never respect him.His dignity down the drain.
2.Tiger Woods he had it all but a few rounds in a hotel is all it took for tiger to loose half of his wealth to ex wife Erin.Some of the mistress were even paid to keep quite as they were more.
3.Bill Clinton stepped down as the president of the USA just for a few rounds with Monica Lewinsky.
4.Thinus Crous paid too much attention on Ms Mbau that he did not even see his company going down.Now people have no desire to help him nor do business with him a he is known as a cheating husband.

After such an ordeal society has no respect for you.You have lost your credibility as a important man in society.You are looked down upon and your a broke.

Well the list goes on but i hope i have opened eyes to all those cheating brothers.One day it might be you when that child's from a mistress rings a door bell and your life with your wife is turned up side down.

DestinyLady88 101 on how to get over your EX.

I hate people who dwell on the past they can do nothing about especially when it comes to love so i have compiled my list of how to get over an Ex.Remember guys this is my 101 so judge me all you want but add your own.Lol.

• When dating do not memorize your loves cell phone number.This is to avoid drunk dialing him after break up or having that urge to call and embarrass yourself.

• Delete number and all means of contact even if it means loosing mutual friends you had together.

• Sit at home and cry like a donkey.Some Exes are like antibiotics you have to cry them out your system.

• Do not answer calls from him and no friendly coffee dates its Over damn at!

• Look hotter by taking care of your body.If he hurt you put a poster of his face on a punch bag and box it till you have no more breath.

• Make new memories and restart your brain like a computer.Lol.good luck.

• Go fishing for new meat i meant hunting.

Are you the Daddy?

This is probably going to get a lot of people talking or even worst open a can of worms.We all know man are pathetic liars and well not very good at it but woman are the best of all liars.Woman take their lies to the grave unlike man who go to the local pub to boost about their bad ways.

Once i received a call from a lady friend in a state and crying.I ran over to her place to find out what is the matter.Only to find out that she is pregnant so i assumed she is too excited hence the tears.No i was in for a bigger surprise.SHE DID NOT KNOW WHO THE FATHER WAS!I was so shocked even a full bottle of wine i was still sober.I did not want to go into details but i am bad liar so i told her to come out with the truth and tell both man that she does not know who the fathers is i mean that is all i could do.If she ever came out with the truth only God knows.

Between me and you i think she choose the guy with the most money because that child looks nothing like his father.I hope to God am wrong.

What am trying to say is that how many Man are 100% sure that they are raising their own flash?I mean she got pregnant and you took her word for it.

Well if you ask me i think DNA should be compulsory after child birth whether married or not.Am just drooping a hint for the Government people please do not get angry with me.

This will also catch those many who make a deposit and do not want to make a withdrawal because the charges are too high.Yes!the man who make babies and when they are trying to hide from paying maintenance they say they ain't the daddy.

Well i did not write this for people to fight but i hope you can all avoid this by using condoms.Lol.

After all condoms are cheaper than Pampers.

Blow your own horn!

Excuse me if i own the horn why can i not blow it?Don't get me wrong am not saying successful people should not be humble because without people you are nothing.Yet again there are those who will throw mud at your success because they are jealous or envious.I mean really what is stopping them from being successful.

In life people will be successful its a fact.If you gonna act like someone stole your lollipop and throw nasty and dirty remarks that's your won issue time is running.

I love people who blow their own horns but still stay humble.Some of us will spend a lifetime waiting for others to blow your horn and they won't even though they can see you are a star in the making because they are jealous.So blow you own horn today and do not wait for those sorry excuse of human beings.

Remember there are people who's opinion matter and there are those who just huff and puff.Do not be deaf to constructive criticism as it makes you improve and be stronger but be able to see the difference between being bullied and being constructively criticized.

If everyone likes you be worried as some of that love will be fake so be carefully.

No road to success has not pot holes so see these silent loose rs as potholes.Carefully avoid them by either driving over them or swiftly drive around them.

Everyone has haters even Obama.So you are no different.

Blowing your own horn is confidence and self love but remember to be humble.

What is marriage material?Is the such a thing to begin with?

So my guy friend tells me the last woman he dated was not marriage material hence he was just fooling around with her.So he tells me this i look at him in amusement.Then i ask him what is Marriage material?He gives me this list of what a woman should be and do.So i ask him are you marriage material?He was dumb struck as men don't ever grade themselves if they are marriage material themselves.Anyway i said he must think about it and not expect someone to be perfect while he is also not perfect.

Well growing up we were told that a woman will be graded if she is marriage material and i remember my mother saying a woman with clean knees was not considered for a wife as that showed signs of laziness.It was believed that a woman's knees must be dark to show that she goes down on her knees and clean the floor with cow dung.Lol.

The criteria has changed.I know woman who can not even boil an egg but are married.We all know men who cheat like its a competition or trying to finish the World's Cheating record but they are married.

The way i see it both sexes are not perfect then why should another expect the other to fit the criteria while the other folds his /her arms.

So i made a typical example to my male friend who dumped the poor woman just because she is not marriage material.Most men love night life with friends and that's acceptable.If you are a husband and you are out having fun with your friends until the early hours of the morning who is doing your husband duties in your home?Who is protecting your wife and children?It happens at night that criminals enter your house rape and kill everyone in your home and you are out at night enjoying yourself.How are you as a husband if that's how you conduct yourself in your marriage?

And you get woman who also adopt the same behavior.Out on a girls night and put yourself in danger.

Honestly what is marriage material because to me both sexes are in a car but not one is driving.I think marriage is initiated so that both parties can take responsibility in making the relationship work and to a better future  so why must one individual be perfect?

You are looking for a spouse that is marriage material.Are you marriage material?

Anyway am out to find my marriage material partner.Thats if there is such a thing.Lol.

What do you call a man who is married or dating a rich woman?I mean only for money.

Woman are called Gold diggers but what do we call a man who is after woman's money?Its becoming a trend for man to target  woman who are wealthy and are high and over achievers.I used to work for a certain telecommunications company and men use to assume am loaded.I use to laugh at their stupidity as they only knew the name but failed to do their homework.

What makes them think they can get money from woman?Who and what is wrong with these woman who are giving them money.

How to tell if a man is after money.
He borrows money but never returns it.
He never suggest investment or good things to do with money its all glitz and glamour to him.
He is not in a hurry to look for a job.
He starts small asking you to buy him airtime,borrow your car only to go pick up other woman.
He is first to expensive taste when it comes to food and lifestyle knowing his woman is loaded.
He is not afraid to quit his job because his woman is loaded.
They ask for airtime and still send "call backs"

You are welcome to add yours.


I bet he even ask the woman to borrow him lobola money and take it to the in laws as if its his.I see these man every day riding in a taxi or bus looking at the woman who drives an expensive car hoping to score with her so they have certain privileges.

What do we call these men?We need to find a name since Gold digger was easy.Maybe something in the lines of Platinum diggers after all a woman who can bring a Bacon as big as a man should be labeled as a Platinum Provider.

Well its the reality many man out there will do anything to get by even date a woman they do not love because she has money.In actual fact woman and man are no different in this day an age.

But i would still love to hear what these or such man are called.

Let me know anyone somebody:)

Marriage Corruption.

You may all call it Pre-nup but i call it Marriage corruption.Its amazing how people marry with intentions of getting a divorce or preparing yourself for something you do not want why are you still getting married if you know you going to get divorced>

Look i know people get married for all kinds of reasons and get this Pre-nup for different reason also but i think we have shifted our focus on all the negative things about marriage and people have even forgotten that marriage is about Love.Marriage should not be prison but it also should not be like a Shebeen were all come and go as they please.

A man is suppose to take care of his family as that is what you get when you get married a family.Its even easier nowadays because as ladies we help too and bring in a income.What happens when one of the parties passes on?Isn't the other partner entitled to the deceased assets since they have worked together in building what they have?We are now talking about wealth accumulated while married i do not have problem about wealth he/she has before our engagement.When people are married they do not only invest their hearts but their support too.So now for all my support those nights when you were working or making sure you came home to a Great home,with Hot food on the table,kids taken care of when we divorce you just walk out like i was  a temp Maid?Even when you get retrenched you get retrenchment package.Lol.

People use people to get ahead whether by having a partner to cheer you on the right direction and once you there you dump them like a hot potato but i think its only fair to share what we both have worked for.To me this is Marriage Corruption whether a woman marries a guy so she can cash big at the bank after divorce or a guy wants a supportive wife with contacts to get ahead and ditch her when he has reached his destination.Its all Marriage Corruption.

Am personally will not get married with someone who ask for a Pre-nup if he thinks am after his money then why is he popping the question?

Anyway to those who are Pro Pre-Nup good for you and to those who are Pro In-community of Property be an active partner in your partners live so you can both succeed.

Am off to be a Sun bum as its cold.

The Honest Truth.To all my Brothers or Man.

I notice every time i met up with my old friends and they tell me about man they are dating the conversation starts with either what he drives or where he stays.Well lets not take it far take me for instance i always mention even info i was not asked.Lol.just to prove am not dating a looser or in Kasi slang umahlalela.The honest truth if you have not money and you are a guy you will never see woman liking you for you.That type of love died along with Romeo and Juliet.Lol.

I think its fair since woman of today are working woman.I mean really imagine having a guy asking you for airtime or money to buy briefs or socks.Well no woman wants that type of man its 2011.Anyway you buy him airtime he will go call another woman or get compliments in the same briefs you bought him by a mistress.


There is nothing annoying and frustrating that dating a lazy guy who does not hustle.No direction in life but just sees the sun coming up and going down.Woman will never lower their standards that is the honest truth brothers and do not call her a Gold digger if you have no Gold to be dug.If she is dating you and you have no money rest assured that she has a sidekick on the side with money.The guy that takes her out,take her for a long drive in a BMW,buy her flowers and many things that a woman needs.

I would also like to warn my sisters of the man that live on bank money.Credit cards,renting instead of owning,buying a car worth more than his property.You need a man who is intelligent about his money and lifestyle so be careful he must not be stingy.

A man having money shows potential of being a best candidate for husband as he must pay lobola if he has no job how do you expect him to pay lobola.Nowadays its not only woman who are judged if they are marriage material men too.So if you are not hustler and you ain't got no money,you are no husband material.Sorry!Men taking you to KFC or McDonald's for dinner is a Big No!No!I mean you on your own can afford KFC why can he not top that?

Brothers you need to have money to have woman its the harsh reality because no woman wants a Broke struggling man unless he struggling after you met him.Apart from that it shows the power to be a provide as nature intended.

Just as much men have high expectation about the woman they want,We woman expect a brother  to have money and provide.Actually even in the Bible men are suppose to provide.So to all those broke men."Get a Job"! as in yesterday or you will never touch a woman.Lol.

Who is the status for?

This question lingers in my mind when i see everyone wanting Blackberry Storm to Thunder if they have that one already.Lol..I mean really what happened to the phone for being used to just say "Hello" and pass on the message.Oooh now we BBM in meetings and Funerals.

Well frankly i do not know what the fuss is all about.I see people around me when they talk about Blackberry its like a New President.Their faces change someone please fill me in today.To me BBM is like the upgrade of Mixit.Am waiting for a scandal that will also come out of this.You know its not Technology if there is no Drama.With Mixit there we pedophiles i wonder whats coming with BBM.

By the way i have a friend who has gone through all model of Blackberry.I mean every model.

We move over to them folks with expensive cars but ask the Petrol Attendant for R20 petrol.I mean the car is worth R200.000 and you stand there thinking.This Folk needs to get his/her priorities straight.Don't get me wrong its nice to see someone driving a nice car provided its not Gold digging your pocket.

Do not get me started on the expensive clothes.I mean really in 2011 people still care about Brands?People get stressed if a weekend goes by they did not but a new Brand item.I got a wake up call on Brands on the Summer of 2008 when i bought a Top at a very reputable Retail store for R300 only to see the same Top in another shop for R60 i almost threw a rage.We can not blame the Black Box now converted to a Slim Black Box(Plasmas)I mean it is a personal choice to be moved by Brands.But is it realy worth it as these clothes are brought on credit?I mean by the time you finish paying the credit the item is already worn out.

We have became a society that spends on Liability rather than Assets.You spend R8000 on phone but you still renting a flat.You Driving around in R300.000 car while the Flat you renting is R400.000 on Bond.

The Clothes in your wardrobe amount to R60.000 but you do not have food to eat or petrol to put in that expensive car.

Society labels you as if you nothing without these things but the same society label you stupid when you do not own property or put R20 petrol in your expensive car.Well at least i think there is something wrong.

The truth is Society tells us how to live but the choice is ours.

Well am out to the Flee market to buy second hand stuff so i do not owe anyone.Month end i do not expect any post in my mailbox hence i chase the mail man away whenever he comes around. Society wants me to Live a certain life that comes with a price tag i choose to Live my way and that's to save for a house before i can BBM.

Try this it might give you a peaceful time and peaceful nights.

From DestinyLady88 with Love.

Give Nonhle Thema a Bells.lol.

Am sure we all have see the articles and tweets  about the Nonhle Thema saga.Honestly i do not know what the big deal is.Everyday we have people on the spotlight doing funny crazy things but we crucify poor Nonhle Thema.


When have you ever heard government saying to a corrupt or convicted official apologize to the people?Never!

Nonhle was a having a minor melt down people we all have been there.When you find out your housemate ate your last yoghurt's.When your partner used the last hot water.When that damn ex boyfriend/girlfriend moved on before you.

She might have taken it too far but i know people who have take it further will not mention names(they are not famous anyway)LoL.

Nonhle was pushed by Haters.You know the people that have nothing to do but criticize someone while they are sitting on their bum doing nothing watching the sun come out and go down.Yes those people.

My advise to Nonhle Haters are there to boost us up,they might try and get under our skin but the best thing to do is ignore them cause that's all they good at hating.

I hope Nonhle Bounces back and people leave her alone and she ignores them.You can inspire many girls with what you do.Just stay away from Twitter and Facebook when you angry. Rather go climb a tree and read a book that's what i do.

Love Nonhle and all of you.

Peace.

Destinylady88.

South Africa.Have we became the Country that lives on Ignorance?

Trust me when i say ignorance is a killer of men.With a beautiful country like this where in the past things were discussed in the public and people took to the street to protest things they did not like.Have we turned a blind eye on things that are bringing this country down?Has it became a matter of it has nothing to do with me so i do not care?I think there are serious matters that we need to bring to the table and be realistic about them as South Africans.If you want a wound to heal you treat it you do not cover it and ignore it because it will become ugly and painful and get bigger.I personally think if you are a good citisen who contributes good in this country you have every right to voice you problems.

Have we ever thought of better way to combat crime in this country?It seems its a criminals paradise.The number of people killed everyday,children and woman raped every day its alarming.What are we doing about this?Is time in prison enough?It seems prison just trains criminals to be more hard core.People have lost hope and faith on our Justice System.Is that the freedom we fought for to terrorise each other?

We have people who are suppose to lead us but instead they are taking from the poor.Even if someone is caught with the hand in the cookie jar we do nothing.I believe a good leader is the one that puts his peoples need before his/her own.Where are such leaders?Now its about me and my family living large.Do not get me wrong we have great leaders but what about those few rotten potatoes making the rest of the potato bag smell?We just ignore and hope they will disapear?This country can be far but a few individuals are holding us back.Individuals that we have put our faith in so they can  lead us.

When will the division of race and tribes come to an end?Don't you think if we could all put such petty things we all can move on and build a beautiful legacy for the future for the children.I mean who really cares whether you black or white,Zulu or Pedi will that get us anywhere?Do we deal with race or the problem?We tend to waste time on unimportant things and realize later that is time wasted and never to be recovered.

South Africa is one of the countries that speaks openly about Aids and HIV but yet the number of people infected keeps rising.Do we really thing we are untouchable that this will not effect us?Why are we so ignorant?Whether you are not infected you will be effected.People stop acting like you are in Chuck Norris movies and nothing can effect you.

If everyone can take their place in this country and be responsible for the part this country can be a better place.If the street sweepers can sweep the streets so we can welcom the world in a clean country,to the Teacher teach those little ones so they can take this country with pride and wisdom when their turn comes,Doctors and nurses heal those patiants so tomorrow they can get up and join the building of this country,Leaders lead your people to a better future at any cost,do not lead people where you would not go,give your people the best as thats all they deserve and have trusted you with the leading of this country to a better

Ignorance is the biggest killer of  people.South Africa we have a lot to talk about lets start now.

Public Smoking.

There i was dressed  and fresh from a cool shower on my way to catch a train to work.As i approach the train station all i see is smoke.For a moment it looks like someone is making a fire but as i get closer its people smoking on the Platforms waiting for a train.

Now imagine you standing there waiting for a train while these people are puffing and passing this smoke.All the smoke comes to you and you inhale the same amount as a smoker.Your clothes smell like a smokers.

In other countries they have Laws on public smoking and i understand why when i arrive at work with a foul cigarette smoke on my fresh ironed clothes.

Smoking is a personal choice and it is danger to ones health therefor i think smokers should do it in isolation from others who choose to look after and value their health.Its been said that when surrounded by smokers and they smoke around you the risk on your health are just as bad as the smoker.

Worst part is seeing a pregnant woman smoking.

People are so inconsiderate in the name of Freedom to do whatever while it harms others.

Its true when they say ignorance is the mother of all killers because every cigarette packet comes with deadly warning signs but yet people smoke like its going out of fashion.

Will the Health Department Please do something about this.In Nigeria you get arrested for smoking in public.

DestinyLady88.

Woman who kill..

The number of woman who kill their spouses is on the rise.Honestly woman have suffered for years under the hands of society and man.I also do not understand why people act suprised.I mean do not get me wrong am not justifying the killings and not calling these woman dogs am just making an example.If you keep a dog on a leash for a long time the day it gets tired or breaks free its bound to hurt someone because it has anger.

The are countries were woman are not allowed to drive so i will not be shocked when those woman learn to drive trucks the day they are free and run over every male they see.

There are countries were woman are not allowed to que in the same que as men.i mean really what is a woman next to you going to do?

The one that fustrates me the most.Countries were woman are not allowed to vote.

Which ever way we look at it these woman have been created by our society so we might as well shut up and take it like a pill when you sick.

Treat a woman good and you will never regret it.